I'm usually a good girl.

Well I was spanked last night and I didn't even know I had done anything to deserve it. It was such a beautiful day here and I had to run up part of his lunch he forgot. The kids and I decided we would just run to the park since winter will be on us soon so I felt we should use this time wisely. On the way I decided to pick up a friend who has been shut up at home and seemed depressed. We all had a great time and spent a few hours away. I ran the kids to McDonald's for a quick bite and decided to take T something also so I went by his work on the way home. All this was done without one hint of a problem cause like I said I'm usually a good girl most of the time but I forgot something I always do and its not something he asked but I just have always done it and that is to let him know when I'm leaving the house and where I am going just in case something should happen. It completely slipped my mind and this was the second time in a week I've done it. He just kinda reminded me the first time in passing that I didn't let him know....well okay I just forgot I got busy with the kids and all that.

This all came after night before last we were trying to spend some quality time which I was screaming at the kids to hurry and get in bed at 9 and i was starting early cause you know how kids can be always dragging their feet. But he was the one telling them its okay its just 8:30 they have plenty of time so I didn't say a word again until it was 9:20 and they were still wandering the house. Than he gets frustrated at them than at me because I said see now you know why I start at 8:30 because by 9:30 your a sleep on me and I don't get anytime with you. That turned out to be bad cause his reply was he doesn't see them all day like I do which I countered if you didn't sit around and watch TV you could have spent time with them. I got a slap on the butt for that and he rolled over mad. Okay well that night sucked. Than the next night(last night) I got it not as bad as it could be he's never really to bad even when he should be but how do I tell him that? We go right back to the thing where he stops when I protest. Well of course I'm going to protest who wouldn't. I guess I'm going to have to get that book "How To Give A Spanking" for him. http://www.variantbooks.com/give_spanking.html
Oh and another new rule that he wants to enforce is I can't yell at the kids which I've already done today but I didn't yesterday so when he was spanking me he asked and I answered no which at the time I wasn't sure but later remember we had been gone all day so there was no reason to yell at them. So do I fess up about today? He wants to start asking the kids but I don't think that's fair considering they are the reason I have to scream. Its also difficult to maintain but this is what I wanted but I need consistency from him. I feel like a kid in a candy store I could go all out wild but never pay unless caught.

This is all new to us.

This is all new to us the whole DD thing in our marriage it almost seems like a game to me. I don't particularly want it to be a game but not sure how to go about asking for more. I mean I asked for this in the first place after being married for so long we've gotten quite complacent. Well I should say he has in dealing with my behavior at times. The last year or so I found out somethings about myself that put alot of how I felt about me personally into perspective; frankly it made alot of things make sense finally.

So a few month ago I brought the subject up after finding out about DD on the internet. I think he thought I had lost my mind and really I felt maybe he was right. What woman who is happy in her marriage would even ask for this? It's not like I hadn't asked for him to take control long ago I think he thought I was joking. The few times I had suggested to him that he should just spank me for an offense I had committed instead of getting angry and having an all out war over whatever was going on at that moment but it was all done in fun. I didn't know how to tell him what kinks were in my head from along time ago. I wanted more. I needed more!! I've always fantasized about being spanked, being controlled and not in a demeaning way. Apparently, its not just something that I think about on a daily basis its all over the internet woman just like me. The more we broached the subject the more appealling it became to him but I had to keep asking does this make you feel weird cause I don't want you to be uncomforable in this at all. He has a pretty bad past and he was mainly on the butt end of discipline in his life I didn't want to cause him any pain whatsoever.

Plus we have children and I would never want to subject them to anything that would damage them and be unhealthy its not like we ever have spanked them in their life. Kids and spanking just don't go together in our minds its frightening, it makes them feel less of themselves and really what kid asks for that. There are so many other things to take away now days that do just as well for discipline in our house. So before anyone says anything about our lifestyle we don't spank our kids and he doesn't spank me when they are here or are awake.

There is just something about life that gets me cranky and depressed and I can't explain it but a spanking does me good. (haha kinda like milk). I trust him to treat me right or I would have never asked him to do this for me or even be a willing participant. I am not abused he does not beat me he spanks me but most of the times when I ask. I don't want to ask its not the same. I don't need a father even though I sometimes call him daddy its definitely not the same so you pervs shut up already its just a term of endearment for me. So we will  see where this takes us its good so far but we have along way to go any good advice from you married women or men in DD marriages would be much appreciated.